“Envious” -Pit

I envy the people who smile.

I envy their shining eyes and their open hearts.

I envy their cares and problems, their troubles and faults,

which seem small to me even though I bet they are not.

 

I envy life away from pain.

I envy those little moments that I catch myself forgetting.

I envy waking up in the morning without being scared that I will be sick,

again…and again…and again…

 

I envy the people who love.

I envy the people who are loved.

I envy love, and heartbreak, and missing him,

everything and anything that is far away from numbness.

 

I catch myself staring at the mirror searching for myself,

looking for a good reason to stop being envious,

but I then understand, better than I did before,

that I am envious because I am not…

 

Alive.

 

 

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